Forgiveness
by SnowRedWings
Summary: JillXChris. PureFLUFF. Jill still struggles with the past, her memories refusing to let her forget. R&R! Inspired by the song Mars by Audio Network.


Jill was having a nightmare.

She was stuck back in that ancient building, standing next to Wesker with the control device stuck to her chest. She had no choice but to obey the commands given to her, no matter how hard her mind rebelled. She stood back, watching the events occur again as she threw herself at Chris, brutally attacking him. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a memory. Just like before when she was trapped in her mind, she was trapped in that one stop, her current self watching her blond counterpart attack. Over and over, she watched the same scenes, her mind stuck in a loop of those events. Every nightmare she had was from the time she was stuck under Wesker, a mere pawn. She broke her own heart that day, when she did those things to Chris...

"No!" She screamed when her dream self went in for a killing blow, throwing herself out of the memory. Her hand automatically went to the gun she had in her bag, holding it in front of her reflexively. The room was dark and unfamilar until she inhaled deeply the scent on the blankets; Chris' house. Throwing the gun away from her, she cradled her head in her hands, sobbing quietly. Rising to her feet, she scrambled to find the bathroom, an exhaust fan clicking along with the light. Great, now someone would know she's awake. Turning on the cold water, she splashed her face until her nerves calmed. Holding herself up on the sink, Jill stared at her reflection. The blond hair was gone, dyed back to her original brunette; never again would it be that ashen shade.

It was awhile before she could think about returning to sleep, sitting against the wall outside the bathroom, the door open with the light on to illuminate her sitting there. Chris wouldn't trip on her if he woke up to use the restroom, the thought making her smile halfheartedly. He was a great guy, and she honestly cared so much for him. That was why she couldn't forgive herself for what she had done, unwilling or not. The pain she saw in his eyes was plain as day, his voice pleading for her to stop... but she couldn't. Burying her the heels of her hands against her eyes, she rubbed away the fresh tears forming there.

He had been convinced she was dead, and she might as well have been with what she was going through. Chris must've been heartbroken. Moving to get to her feet, she wandered down the hall until she found his room. The door was slightly ajar, Jill stepping forward to peek in at her sleeping partner. His back was to her, one arm flung out while the other was curled beneath his head. Moon light was flitering through the thin curtains, casting silver light over his peaceful face. Her heart lurched, she had missed him so much since she was gone. Stepping into the room, Jill nearly tripped over the shoe against the jam. Rolling her eyes, she pushed it out of the way and closed the door. As selfish as it was, she needed his comfort and even if he was asleep, she'd still get that same relief that would wash over her, a soothing balm to the bad burns of her memory.

Moving over the piles of unwashed clothes, she moved silently to the empty side of the bed - or the side that had more room rather - and gently laid down. Wriggling under the covers, she placed her hand over his and watched him sleep. The fear and anguish disappeared under the rader, happiness taking their place. Jill was finally home. Chris was her heart, her best friend, and wherever he was, she would follow.

"I love you, Chris," She whispered against the top of his hand, placing a kiss there. Her heart jumped in surprise when he rolled closer, his arms catching her in their firm embrace. Peering down at him, Jill noted he was still asleep, his head resting against her shoulder. Even at rest, he refused to let her go. The thought lulled her back to sleep.

"Jill?" She awoke laying across Chris' chest, her pale blue eyes trying to blink the sleep from them. "Did you have another nightmare...?" He asked knowingly, his hand stroking her back gently. She didn't sit up or turn her head to look up at him, her eyes staring passed the end of the bed. He knew her all too well, 'like the back of his hand' he had claimed a few times. It was too true.

"I didn't mean to be a bother. I'm sorry," At that Chris sat up, forcing Jill to move from her position. His eyes stared at her, completely serious. He caught her chin, holding her gaze. Gentle, but still forceful enough that she obeyed.

"Jill, what's done it done. The past is gone. All that matters is that you're here now. Stop apologizing for that, and for sneaking into my room.. You know damn well you're welcome in my home - including my room. I'm here for you." With that, he leaned in and gave her an earnst kiss. All of her fear dissolved under the pressure of his lips, her regrest and her pain eased back until she no longer felt them nagging at the back of her mind.

"Thank you, Chris, thank you." She murmured against his collar bone, leaning against him heavily. Those words meant more to her than anything ever could.

"Oh and Jill?" She tilted her head back to look at him. "I love you, too." 


End file.
